Unexpected Romance
by The King of Emerald
Summary: After a supply run gone wrong, Francis thinks he's doomed to die in an abandoned parking garage, at the hands of a Hunter, no less.  Help comes in the oddest form, however, and soon learns that even the dead can have a heart.


**God damn, how come I can't seem to finish a story now without having to start a new one?**

**This story has been in my head a lot lately, and believe me, when I get an idea, I have to write about it. I hope that you guys don't hate me for this, but I need to do it.**

**Disclaimer: Do I really need to? Left 4 Dead 1 and 2 belong to VALVe. Not me.**

XxXxX

"Stupid Bill who needs his stupid cigarettes… I hate cigarettes."

When the zombie apocalypse comes along, one doesn't usually think about exactly how one would survive. For example, it's uncertain how much food will be left. And in the end, don't be a pig. Because you never know when some crotchety old war veteran is gonna send you out for a supply run. I certainly learned my lesson; next time I eat all of the food, I'm gonna blame Louis.

I mean, seriously! I happen to be a growing boy! Okay, so maybe I'm not growing anymore, but I need protein! If I do end up getting infected, I want to turn into a Tank, not something stupid like a Smoker, or a Boomer. And I'd probably jump off of a building and kill myself if I turned into a wussy Hunter. Well, time to keep looking for cigarettes and food. Where the hell am I?

Oh, right. Abandoned gas station. Let's see what we got here. I walked into the store, and wasn't surprised when I met with darkness. This place probably ran out of juice along with the rest of the city, so I knew that most of what I would find would be rotten. I flipped on my flashlight and started walking, glaring. My eyes scan the shelves as I look, uninterested. It's only been two weeks since the apocalypse started, so I'm hoping to find something that's at least edible. Hey, they got jerky! Awesome! I love jerky! Now, what to drink with it? We got Sprite, Coke, Pepsi, Arizona Tea… shit, never mind. The tea's done for. I guess we'll have to deal with just soda. Seems to be the only thing that hasn't gone bad. Even the beer's gonna taste bad.

Okay, got the food and the drinks. What about the cigarettes? I walked over to the counter, where I could see the brands clearly. I know Bill likes a specific brand, and if I gotta deal with the old fart, I need to get that right. Let's see, what did he like? I think it was Camel… no, Marlboro! That's it! I always thought it started with some weird name. Okay, I got a bunch of packs. That ought to keep the old man happy for a week. Time to get out of here. And good timing, too. It's getting dark, which means that if I don't get back to the rest of the group soon, I won't be able to see where I'm going. I turn to leave the store when I notice I'm no longer alone. I grin, pulling my shotgun off of my back. "I was wondering when you were gonna show up. Come on, you stupid vampires!"

Soon, the horde began to run in. Not as big as the ones we ran into as a group, but enough to give me trouble. They were running in as I began shooting like crazy, keeping a good hold on the used duffel I had found to keep the food in. I spent an hour trying to collect enough food and cigarettes for the group, I'm not about to lose it now! I shot repeatedly, but soon, my gun ran out and I needed to reload. That was when they finally reached me. I fought them all, punching and kicking. Then again, maybe kicking wasn't a good idea, since one of them bit my leg. Hard.

"YEOW! STUPID VAMPIRE!" I kicked it again, knocking it's teeth loose so it couldn't do as much damage. I pulled out my pistol next and shot them in the head, finally killing them off. Finally, around me lay the bodies of all of those damn vampires. I was a bloody mess. While the one that bit my leg was the only one that I felt, I was covered in cuts and bruises. They really did some damage to me this time. Time to be serious. If I run into something like that again - or even worse, a Hunter or a Smoker - I was as good as dead. I couldn't afford to be dead; I haven't met my quota of "killed every bloody zombie I can find" yet.

I limped out, wincing. Damn, my leg hurts! He really got a good chunk out of me before I killed him. I was bleeding badly, which wasn't good. If I keep bleeding, then a Hunter's gonna find me. I need a place to rest, and get my leg to stop bleeding. I looked around, wondering what could be a good spot, and soon decided on the parking garage. It was nice and open, and I'd hear a zombie a mile away before anything could kill me. I may be gimpy, but I can still move faster than a Tank. Which is good, because I plan to pump one's head full of lead in the near future. So, with little option left, I slowly limped my way to the garage. Louis, Bill, and Zoey can wait. If I die, nobody's eating. They won't leave me behind unless I don't show up by sunrise. I'm not going anywhere for a while.

Rows of abandoned cars littered the garage, and I know that most of them were stopped during the initial infection, or after a Tank decided to run through, since some of them were upside down, others were turned onto their side. I picked a large van to hid behind, and took off my med-kit, removing a roll of bandages. I figured it would be enough to fix up my leg, since it wasn't that big. I winced as the bloody wound was pushed against, and knew that it was going to get infected with something (fortunately, not Vampire disease. I've been scratched much worse, and I still kill the bastards.), and held my mouth shut so that I wouldn't hiss in pain. Man, he got deep. I won't be able to run for a while, but at least I'll be able to walk properly when the bleeding stops.

That was when I heard it. The low, creepy growl of one of those damn wusses. I hate Hunters with a passion. Those creepy little things are so damn annoying, growling whenever they start getting close to us. Besides, they keep pouncing on poor Zoey! If that isn't the mark of pure evil, I don't know what is! I stared, slowly reloading my shotgun, careful not to make a noise. My eyes flickered to the red ferrari, all the way to the black toyota camry on the other side of the garage, keeping an eye out for the damn thing. Finally, I saw it, slowly crawling to me. It knew I couldn't move, I could see the sick grin on its face. Or, at least it looked like a grin, it's kinda hard to tell when it's growling all of the time. It stopped, looking at me in that crouch, and from the look of it, he was eying my gun, as if to say, "That thing won't stop me. You are thoroughly screwed." And as I looked at it, I knew that I was screwed. If I didn't get the shot at the right moment, it would kill me the minute it pounced on me. I only had one chance, and without my pack nearby to help me, I couldn't afford to screw up.

Which is exactly what I did.

Suddenly, it launched itself at me, claws and teeth bared, ready for a strike. As it got close, I finally lifted the gun, but it was too late. It landed on me, knocking me away from the van and putting my head in the main lane of the garage. It began to rip at my clothes, and I simply gave up. It was stronger than me, I knew that. So, I decided the most that I could do was keep my howls of pain to myself. But as it started to dig into my flesh, I couldn't help it, and let out a roar of pure agony. Then it froze, as a second cry echoed through the garage. Suddenly, it's weight was gone, and it seemed to whine in fear. It then turned and started to run. From what, I couldn't tell; the pain was way too much, and I began to black out. The last thing I saw was a grey and white blur running by, black claws outstretched as it chased the Hunter.

XxXxX

I don't know how much time passed, but I awoke and it was dark. Really dark, like how a city looks when there's no lights on, save for the few street lamps that hadn't been shattered. "Ow… my head…" I moaned, sitting up slowly. I felt my head swirl, and immediately regretted doing so as I lay back down. I moaned, and reached down to my stomach, feeling it to see how badly it had been damaged.

There were fewer wounds than I expected, only about ten holes about the size of a needle each. Apparently, it dug deeper, which explains why it hurt so much and why it wasn't completely scabbed over. I must have bled a lot if I'm this lightheaded. Fortunately, I'd live.

It was then I heard the next noise. A small sniff and a sob. That made my blood go cold. If there was anything I was terrified, it was definitely a Witch. Shit, it must have moved here when I was knocked out! I was screwed now! I started to look around, wondering where it was, and how long I could wait before I startled it. I certainly didn't expect it to be sitting at my feet, staring at me. How did I miss it when I first woke up?

To say I was petrified would be a huge understatement. Think more that I was undoubtedly frozen, and wouldn't move until a thousand years later. It took all of my self control to keep from shitting myself, and even then, I think a small amount leaked out. I didn't care, though; I was more concerned with the claws of black death that the otherwise pale Witch had on her. I was so scared, I didn't notice that it had stopped crying. At least, not until it slowly got up. Fuck, I'm screwed! I can't get up and get away without startling it, and once it stood to full height, it would kill me in no time! I closed my eyes, waiting for death to take me.

Only to feel something gently drag across my cheek.

Confused, I slowly opened my right eye, on the side where I had felt something touch me. There, the Witch sat, reaching over with her right talon. Surprisingly, it didn't even look mad. It looked… concerned. Can a zombie be concerned? I don't know what possessed me to say it, but I did. "I'm okay."

It blinked, as if it was surprised to hear me speak, then a new expression formed on its face. It scooted back, giving me room to sit up. Okay, this is getting weird. I took advantage of this and slowly sat up, looking at my shirt and vest. Well, the shirt was in rags, but my vest was still okay. And people wonder why I love it so much! I looked over to the witch, who got up again and walked over to what looked like a body. As my eyes adjusted, I realized that it was the body of the Hunter that had attacked me! I swallowed, nervous. "Did you do that?"

The Witch let out a grunt, bobbing her head. Was she… nodding? Holy shit, she understood me. "Um… thanks. You really… saved my ass." I can't believe this. Not only did a Witch, of all things, save me, but it could understand me! I can't believe it! "Um… can you talk?" It blinked, looking at me, confused. "I take that as a no… I guess you can only understand a few words." It continued to stare, tilting its head. What does it think it is, a puppy? I slowly stood up, blinking back the bouts of dizziness. "Well, thanks, but… I gotta go. I'm sorry for trespassing on your territory like that…" I walked over to my duffel bag and my abandoned shotgun, strapping the weapon to my back before I began to lug the bag. I then slowly walked around the Witch, smiling and nodding my head. I then limped to the exit, about to leave when it did the one thing I didn't expect.

It whimpered.

I stopped, looking back at it. It looked about ready to cry again. Why did it stop in the first place? I started to reach forward with my left, uninjured leg when it whimpered again. I rolled my eyes, pulling it back. "What the hell?" I muttered, turning back to it. "What's wrong?" I asked it. Then I shook my head. I was asking a Witch what was wrong? I must be going crazy. I turned to leave again when it started sobbing once more. I was now faced with two choices. Leave now and forget about this, or go back and comfort the super vampire.

In the end, I picked the crazy decision.

I kneeled down in front of the Witch, raising a hand up slowly so as not to startle her. Instead of growling, the sobs slowly vanished, and as I reached up and wiped a couple of tears away, I could have sworn I heard it purr. "Stop crying, you big baby", I whispered. "I'm alive now. What more do you want?" Really stupid question as it reached out and slowly wrapped its arm around my shoulder. I shook my head. "Whoa there!" I said, starting to get pissed. I stood up, moving away from it. "What the hell is this? You suddenly getting protective of me?" It only grunted in response, a tear starting to form. I stood my ground this time. "Oh, hell no! I may have been hurt when you first found me, but I am not that weak! I'm sorry for getting into your hunting ground, but I'm done here! I need to go back and find my family, my pack! Nothing you do can convince me otherwise!"

Then it growled. I froze, suddenly terrified, as it slowly stood up. It seemed to glare at me, hissing like I never heard before. It then suddenly slashed out, and I thought I was dead. But I didn't expect it to catch a Smoker's tongue. How the hell did it sneak up on me? Those damn things can't stop coughing for long enough to sneak up on a deaf man! My thoughts were interrupted as the Witch suddenly pushed me behind it, running at the Smoker with fury in its eyes. I watched as it butchered the vampire, blood flying everywhere, and couldn't help but stare in awe. Eventually, the Witch came back, looking at me with a strange look in its eyes, which reminded me of a dog that asked if it had done a good job. It… no, SHE seemed to look at me with adoration. I slowly raised a hand, ruffling her hair. "Good job", I said softly, and couldn't help but smile when her expectant look turned to one of pure joy. I sighed, looking to the exit, then back at her. "Alright, fine. You can come with me. BUT, if you're coming along, I get to name you."

She seemed ecstatic at my words, and actually walked over to me, snuggling happily. I rolled my eyes, but couldn't help but smile. She reminded me so much of a girlfriend I had, and could only decide it fit her perfectly. "Come on, Crystal. Let's get going." What a strange sight to see; a biker with a limp and a shotgun, and a half naked chick with black claws walking out of a ruined garage with the sun rising in the…

Wait a minute… sunrise? Shit! They left without me!


End file.
